


The Weight of What You Loved

by caelestialus



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: AU, M/M, Ryden, Sad, and yeah, but it is very lighthearted, it's short, ofc this is ryden, the timeline of the band is different and weird, this turned into a vent piece i'm so sorry, very sad, yeah um
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-20
Updated: 2017-06-20
Packaged: 2018-11-16 10:39:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11251428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caelestialus/pseuds/caelestialus
Summary: Brendon Urie refused to let the weight of the world fall upon his shoulders.AU





	The Weight of What You Loved

Ryan Ross was a bitter man. He let his decisions ruin his future decision making. He also had no intentions of changing his future, which would ultimately cause his untimely end.

Brendon Urie was a carefree, loving soul. He remembered things like what flowers he had seen that morning, or what delicious, savory item he had eaten for breakfast.

Ryan remembered his past-- his childhood.

He remembered Spencer telling him that he had decided enough was enough and leaving.

He remembered giving up on Keltie, on Jon.

On Brendon.

Brendon, however, remained faithful to the end.

He loved Ryan unconditionally and, in his odd way, Ryan loved Brendon carelessly and carefully. He showed Brendon what he want when he wanted it, but there was always hesitance. A slight pause, unspoken but noticed, always accompanied his words.

Brendon loved, anyways.

Nowadays, Brendon reminisces on what Ryan had been like before Panic! at the Disco and what he had been like following the short-lived band. Ryan had once been just as loving as Brendon, but he had closed in on himself as the fame grew.

It wrecked him. The fame.

Brendon had always been sure of it.

Even when Jon, Spencer, and Keltie became names of the past, Brendon and Ryan stuck together. Even when Ryan eventually closed off completely, Brendon stayed close.

Not close enough.

The days after he had found Ryan on the bathroom floor, Brendon had laughed. He knew Ryan would walk out of the bedroom one day to accept the coffee and pancakes Brendon had made him.

Maybe Ryan would finally formally ask Brendon to be his.

Brendon regretted never asking Ryan himself. Though he and Ryan had been through it all, it was never said aloud.

Brendon didn't let this regret hold him back.

He never cried for Ryan. He never stopped to apologise for letting him die. He would apologise for not being there completely, for never telling him how he felt, but he never apologised for letting Ryan die.

Would he have stopped Ryan had he been home? Yes, but did he ever think of where they would currently be had Ryan not died? No.

There was no use in thinking of a future that could never be.

So Brendon lived on. He lived and breathed and laughed and cried as he would with Ryan.

Brendon lived the happiest life he could.

He got Spencer and Jon back, and together they continued the named of Panic! at the Disco for Ryan.

They traveled to marvelous cities and dined on the finest of delicacies.

They took pictures and drank and made love with nothing but love in their hearts.

Together, they lived for Ryan Ross.

Brendon Urie refused to let the weight of the world fall upon his shoulders.

Instead, he let the weight of what Ryan Ross had loved and wanted fall upon his heart.


End file.
